Skip to main content

BULLY AND THE BYSTANDER


by J Richard Knapp

First, bystanders may be afraid to get involved. These people fear becoming the new target of the bully or even getting hurt while defending the victim.

Second, some bystanders are confused and unsure what to do - so in turn they do nothing at all. Bystanders need a plan of what to do. These bystanders may choose to disassociate themselves with the victim, which may result in deep feelings of guilt.

Third, some bystanders are actually rewarding the behavior of the bully and support the incident which is occurring. These individuals need to be held accountable for their behavior. It is not unusual for these witnesses to blame the victim and attempt to vindicate the bully.

I am often concerned about some anti-bully advocates telling the bystander to intervene on behalf of the victim. This is easier to suggest rather than do. Imagine the courage it would take to stand up for someone you view as strange or a 'loser'. Intervention takes great courage and moral fiber to overcome the fear factor.

Bully prevention must include a direct focus on the role of the 'bystander'. This focus must include a bringing together of the parent, student, and school as partners in the fight to stop bullying. Parents and the school must jointly teach the children how to make friends and to be a friend of others. This includes the so-called 'strange' or 'weird' child. Additionally, they must teach appropriate social skills and self-respect. Both the home and school must model respect and kindness with high behavioral expectations and consequences for inappropriate behaviors. Last, volunteerism and service to others should be encouraged at all levels.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A BOOK SERIES FOR TEENS

Book of K ati Series

Teaching Thinking In The Home

Do you truly teach your children to think?  I recently had the opportunity to observe a 10-year-old boy learning to code a basic computer program. For those of us computer challenged, coding is the programming language that designs software, apps, computer games, and even websites such as mine. Is this a lesson for gifted children? Actually not! Everyone can learn the basics of programming in this day and age - we just need to learn how to think ! The first step in this boy's learning was to teach him basic vocabulary, facts, and rules. This was his foundation to coding. A designed activity followed to engaged the boy in demonstrating that he really understood the foundation. (Note: There were no time restraints on this child's learning. Why must we rush our kids?) And then... wonderful things began happening! The boy looked at the entire foundation and began systematically analyzing it . He examined carefully all the parts and how they related to each other. T

CHANGES: The Book of Kati Series

Notes From J Richard Knapp     In our first book of  The Book of Kati  series,  Changes , our intention was to focus on introducing our main characters and the first day in middle school.  The main character (Kati)  is confronted with the wanting to change her look which leads her to become the target of a bully.  This book has been a best seller in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. Classroom  teachers everywhere have loved it. Go To Amazon